Becoming who I am by looking at who I was

It's hard to know where to begin when I tell stories about myself. I can always see where things happened because something before it happened. If you keep looking, you can go all the way back to birth and let's face it, no one wants to hear the story from that far back. However there are some things that happened way earlier that were pointers that pushed me in certain directions. I didn't know it at the time of course.

When I was eighteen, I was in a very bad car accident. I spent nearly seven months in the hospital. There isn't a lot to do when you're stuck flat on your back that long so I listened to a lot of music. I was always the type of person that had music in her life. Certain songs seemed to speak to me. Even when I was little, I thought it would be so cool if real life had a soundtrack. I loved the Beatles like most teenagers my age. But I became a fan of Billy J. Kramer because he wasn't as well known here as the Beatles as if that gave me a better chance of meeting him. It didn't seem so stupid back then.  
I have managed to keep my preference for the lesser known artists but I don't think 
its for the same reason

While I was in the hospital, The Moody Blues released the song, "Question." There was a verse  that went:

I'm looking for someone to change my life.
I'm looking for a miracle in my life
and if you can see
what it's done to me,
To lose the love I knew could safely lead me through 

I cried every time I heard it but it got me through those long months. It became my mantra. I was looking for someone to change my life and I was looking for a miracle. Even though I knew that they weren't singing about a girl in a hospital, it didn't matter. That's when I learned that some songs can actually transcend themselves.  Great lyrics don't really belong to the composer once they are let loose to the world. 

(a less poignant example is also a Moody Blues song. No matter how many times I read the 
lyrics I still think of Monty Pythonish 'Knights in White Satin' when I hear that song. )

Many years later I was fortunate to see the Moody Blues in concert at George, Washington. The venue is a natural amphitheater on the Columbia gorge miles in the high desert. When they sang 'Question' under that clear, cold, dark sky, well it took my breath away. Needless to say I was in tears.